Brenda and Dorothy have been friends for over thirty years, but lately their friendship has been strained. Together, they’ve been through thick and thin, and everyone who knows them knows you probably won’t see one without the other. In her mid-fifties, Dorothy has never been married, but Brenda was married before they even met. Her husband passed away almost five years ago, and to say that she was devastated is an understatement. Dorothy was there for her every step of the way, and Brenda depended on her more than any friend should. Recently, Dorothy met someone new and they are getting really close. He’s even talking about marriage, but in her opinion, Brenda isn’t as supportive as she should be. In Brenda’s opinion, Dorothy has kicked their friendship to the curb. There’s a smidge of jealousy, a little bit of anger, and a whole lot of hurt between them, and neither of these long-time friends seem willing to talk and work it out.
Proverbs 27:17 says that iron sharpens iron, and one friend sharpens another. This is God’s standard, but sometimes it isn’t ours. So often we talk about the kind of unity and devotion required for marriage, but we skip over how important these are for the friendships in our lives. God expects us to be good friends to one another, and to learn to nurture those relationships through the love of Christ.
Be thoughtful and compassionate
Proverbs 17:17(ESV) says, “A friend loves at all times.” We should be loyal to one another, but sometimes our loyalty is compromised, and this can be a very challenging issue to tackle. Dorothy was over the moon about her new relationship and spending less and less time with Brenda. Considering the years that they’ve been in each other’s lives, thoughtfulness and compassion would have kept the lines of communication open. Dorothy had proved her loyalty repeatedly in being there for Brenda when she needed it most, but she had become consumed with her new relationship. It’s not unreasonable to expect that both should have had a greater level of thoughtfulness and compassion for the other’s feelings.
Pray for your friends
God requires us to pray for others, and we should most definitely pray for our friends. Not only should we pray for their salvation through the Lord Jesus Christ and their health and wholeness, but we should pray for Godly resolutions when issues arise. Proverbs 18:24(NLT) says, “a real friend sticks closer than a brother.” Relationships are the most important thing in life, so any good friendship is worth preserving. We have to remember those who have stuck by us, that are concerned when we’re not quite ourselves. These are the individuals that will check on us even when things are going great. When issues arrive, don’t be defensive. Ephesians 4:32(ESV) tells us that our responsibility is to “Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.” Pray that God will give you direction and insight that helps you be a better friend and helps you both to grow in Christ.
Practice humility
We must remember that there are two sides to every story. Not everyone is going to see things the way that you do. We shouldn’t always want to be right. Our interest should be to help our friends to see God’s righteousness in every situation. Romans 15:1-2(NLT) teaches us that “1 We who are strong must be considerate of those who are sensitive about things like this. We must not just please ourselves. 2 We should help others do what is right and build them up in the Lord.” This instruction requires the patience of our humility.
Jesus Christ left the Father’s throne to come to earth. He is a King who humbled himself immeasurably in order to teach, help, and save us. His is the example we must follow. He was so kind and patient with his disciples. He loved them and wanted to see them blessed. We must have this same heart regarding our friendships and remember the humility of Jesus Christ. So, even if we think we’re right, we shouldn’t cause further injury to prove a point. We should humble ourselves for the sake of the friendship and have faith that in time God will make things right.
One of the reasons that many marriages fall apart is that neither spouse learned to be a good friend before they married. The lessons of friendship are invaluable to living a life filled with God’s love and grace. There can be no doubt that the blessing of a good friendship is a gift that keeps on giving. Romans 15:3 tells us that even Christ didn’t live to please himself. He served us through his life, ministry, and sacrifice, and he only did those things that pleased the Father. His is the example we must follow. We must pray that God will help us to have harmony, grace, and loyalty in our friendships, and we must view them as a wonderful opportunity to demonstrate the heart and love of Christ.■
Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.
Scripture taken from the New King James Version. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.
“The Blessing of Friendship”, written for Springfield Fellowship © 2022. All rights reserved. All praise and honor to God through Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior.